summary: AU to IMTOD; Dean doesn't have his body back and it's Valentine's Day, but he and Sam make it work anyhow.
title: His life became a valentine
Three weeks since Sam's last visit, and he hadn't said when he'd be back, but Dean knew it was today. Sam was too much of a girl to miss it. Dean was ready, impatient. He had scoped out the nurses station every day for the past week, just to make sure he had what he needed.
As soon as Sam walked in, it was go time. Something smacked against his forehead, bounced, and hit the linoleum, breaking, pink chunks scattering. He bent to pick it up and Dean could tell when he identified the projectile as a conversation heart and read it – ONE I LOVE. Not that Dean'd picked that one on purpose. There were a whole bunch in the candy dish, so it could have said anything.
"Hey, Dean." He tapped the plastic bag held in his other hand. "Yeah, I remembered they're your favorite. I've got some in here." Sam chuckled – everybody at the hospital probably already thought he was a little crazy. The staff sure did after last time. Best birthday party a guy supposedly in a coma ever had. Sam had brought the Ouija board and a bottle of rotgut whiskey he snuck in and drank for Dean. Yeah. It turns out that the orderlies don't really have any fondness for either drunken people talking to incorporeal spirits, or for cleaning up their vomit. But it was so worth it, even if Sam wasn't exactly a welcome visitor anymore. They were bound to forgive it on Valentine's, right?
Once he reached the right floor and slipped into Dean's room, Sam tugged away a sheet from the bed and spread it on the floor. Setting out a bottle of Diet Coke, he ripped into the familiar plastic tube that held 8 boxes of candy hearts and dumped them. Damn. Looked like he'd learned not to bring alcohol. Oh well, it'd still be fun. Sam tore open the top of one box and poured it out. Dean missed it, but it was nice to see his brother was gonna carry on that tradition for him. "God, I'm going to get a headache from all this sugar."
Dean nudged his hand with one of the hearts. GET REAL. Sam snorted. "Oh, so this is how it's gonna be today?"
Sam seemed amused, that was good. Heck, Dean was having fun too, even if it was tough racing to find the right message without letting the conversation stall out. "You're kinda insane, you know that, right?"
Sam shivered, but smiled weakly. "I never knew how sarcastic candy hearts can be."
Just for Sam, he decided to ease up a little. Valentine's was a girly holiday, but nobody could prove it was him anyhow. I ♥ U. A second heart shifted apart, followed by half a dozen or so others, broken and upside down, whatever, so he could build his own question mark. LOVE ME?
Sam munched on the smooshed-looking pink heart. "I love you too, Dean. Always have, always will. You know that." He dumped the rest of the small cardboard boxes into a heap on the sheet. "So, ah, how- How are you, Dean? I'm sorry I haven't been around as much. Dad's been trying to keep me on the road, I think he thinks it's unhealthy to hang around here all the time."
Uh. Yeah. Imagine that, their dad wanted Sam on the road, doing their job. Doing his job, without him. It probably was unhealthy for Sam to hang around there all the time, but hell… Wait, he'd asked a question, hadn't he? What was it? How he is… AWESOME. MISS YOU. The red letters blurred into the yellow background, making the words look like they meant less.
Sam's lips pressed together and he blinked hard a couple times. He glanced at Dean's body.
Dean flicked a heart into his lap and Sam looked down, blinking again. SMILE. He shook his head and a second joined the first, both saying the same thing. Dean quick found a third and picked it up, waving it in front of Sam's eyes, still shining with the tears he wasn't gonna cry. Sam chuckled again, that wild chuckle that meant he still wasn't sure he wasn't gonna cry, but he grinned, and that's what Dean wanted to see. He found one heart, even yellow, which was kinda creepy when he thought about it, with a smiley face instead of words, to show Sam he was smiling too.
"The hospital's been-" Sam paused, cleared his throat. "They want to take you off life support."
HOW NICE. If he still could, Dean would so write Necco and complain about the lack of a heart saying TERRY SCHIAVO in those red letters.
"And since your insurance is fake and we don't actually have money… I won't let them do it though, Dean. I'll fight them. Unless-" He swallowed, eyes scared like they'd been when he was just a little boy.
"Would that be easier, Dean? Would it make you happier?"
He sat there poking at the heap of candy while Dean searched. Conversation hearts apparently didn't cover this topic. Which really fucking blew, but he wasn't gonna cave and try to get the Ouija board out. I ♥ YOU. SURE LOVE.
"Yes? Let them do it?"
"What then? Just let you die?"
HOME SOON. He shuffled through some more, thinking. He knew he'd seen the right one…aha. ANGEL.
Sam rolled his eyes. "Dean, I love you, but even I wouldn't call you angel material." Dean could practically see him finishing the equation on that one. "Then I'd never see you again."
"Maybe I can find someone to help, get you healed." He could here the brittle determination in Sam's voice. That kid did not know when to give up, clearly.
I HOPE. It was too late for that, they both knew it.
GOT LOVE. Dude. Seriously. Didn't Sam know how to turn off the angst for even one day? It was pretty pathetic that Dean was better at this stupid romance thing than him. Hard to believe he'd convinced a pretty girl like Jessica to live with him, if that was the case.
MY GIRL. BE MY HERO. Even though Sam couldn't see, Dean puckered his lips and batted his eyes.
"You're such a jackass. Besides, I'd think you could make better jokes than just calling me a girl."
"Damn right I am."
TOP DOG. URA TIGER.
"Oh blow me." Sam threw out the words carelessly, like he always did, half laughing. He probably had no idea just how damn much Dean wanted to do that very thing. Or maybe he did. Of course he knew Dean wished he was in his body, able to function. "God, I miss you Dean. I miss you so damn much."
IT'S LOVE. REAL LOVE. Dean couldn't help but remember when he was fifteen, the first time he saw The Crow. Summer, and the hotel room didn't have A/C, but Dad insisted he sit this job out because he was still recovering from the last one. He'd spent his dinner money on a second viewing. Real love is forever. Eric Draven was so driven, it was amazing. His love for Shelly, kindness to Sarah and the good cop, the way he completely kicked ass… And Sarah had been kinda hot, if a little young. Sassy, that's for sure.
"Yeah, love…" Sam mused.
TRUE LOVE. And wuv. Twooo wuv... The droning of the priest from The Princess Bride clung in Dean's mind a moment, another movie he remembered from growing up. It had been Sam's favorite, and for weeks afterward he'd answered "As you wish" when Dean or their father wanted him to do something.
"It sucks, not being able to touch you." Sam was getting into a mood again.
Dean knew it sucked. Hell, did Sam have any idea what it felt like to go three months with zero physical contact? BEAR HUG.
"I read that three hundred people die every year trying to wrestle bears."
"Yeah. They must be real men. They aren't even worthy of Darwin Awards," Sam scoffed. "I faced down a chupacabra last week single-handed and won. At least let them get a little more creative."
"What? I'm not saying that to impress you!" Sam blushed, which meant he was. Dean was just pleased to hear he was doing well on his hunts.
And okay, impressed. Impressed in the "God I want to jump that man" way. Hearing about a good hunt usually gave that reaction. LET'S KISS.
"How?" Sam gestured at the bed. "Your body isn't exactly responsive."
MAGIC. CALL ME, CUTIE PIE.
He saw the skeptical smile slanting across Sam's face, knew the truth to it. Dean had no idea if this would work. "Come here and kiss me." After all, another body was just an object like the candies, right? It was a relief, cold water, so indescribable, feeling familiar lips against his own again. He felt Sam shiver with the electricity in the air and watched his eyes squint shut.
Sam tried to wrap his hands around Dean for some stability, something, but he couldn't find a torso, just the mouth against his own. Dean could feel the hands, but they weren't really touching him.
Sam groaned and Dean's tongue slipped into the opening like he'd been waiting months for this.
Damn if he hadn't. One hand curled around the back of Dean's head, and this time it didn't pass through the air. Dean could feel his own hair, feel the slight give of Sam's skin. Hell, this didn't feel anything like what it felt like when he was alive, and yet it felt just the same and better than ever.
He tugged at Sam's shirt. His brother's eyes were still glued shut, like the only way he could do this was if he forgot he couldn't see Dean. Sam wasn't very cooperative at removing his top shirt, but once that was gone, he peeled the t-shirt over his head before Dean even had a chance to. They were balled up on the floor side by side, half-covering the diminished pile of candy, which Sam stepped on as he stumbled back from Dean, gasping for air.
"Wow. Oh wow." His eyes had opened and now Sam blinked almost desperately, like he was lost. Dean moved behind Sam, his fingers slipping under the waistband to Sam's pants before he could panic, lips sliding along Sam's neck so he'd shut his eyes again.
Nose buried in Sam's hair, he unbuckled Sam's belt, letting the weight of the jeans slowly pull them down. He revelled in the sensation of just feeling Sam's skin under his fingertips as he slid down the checked boxers the jeans had hid.
Dean curled his fingers into Sam, stretching him out, and Sam whimpered, a high desperate sound neither of them had heard before. "Oh god, Dean, more."
Hell yes, more. He pressed them in further, and Sam seemed to tingle from it, a tremor that moved through Dean too. His hips rocked against Sam's ass.
The warmth of Sam's body against his was sharp, even through his t-shirt and scrub pants, like he wasn't wearing anything. His fingers dug into Sam's shoulder as he untied the lacing of the pants and slipped them off, along with his own underwear; he didn't want to stop touching, even that long.
Dean guided himself into Sam, hips pushing a little too fast. Sam almost stumbled again, feet caught in the pants he'd never quite kicked off. "Jesus fuck," he gasped, the sound caught in his throat. It felt loud in the room, Dean's own sweet nothings and moans seeming hollow because he knew Sam couldn't hear them, just sense them maybe.
But hell, he'd been without this, without Sam, for too long, and it felt pretty damn good to finally have Sam around him again, Sam's neck arching back towards him and his shoulders under his hands. One hand slipped down along Sam's chest and across his abs, wrapping around his cock like he'd never had a day off from this.
Dean rocked his hips harder, faster, gliding in and out as his hand coaxed Sam along too. Oh, oh, so- Fucking close, and he could smell Sam and—
Fuck. Best fucking orgasm ever, and it looked like Sam's body agreed, because it sent him over the edge too, pulling away and falling to his knees and gasping, choking, hardly breathing.
The whole time Sam tugged his clothes back on, he didn't look at Dean. He didn't even glance at the bed, which was usually how Dean knew Sam wanted to look at him, but kept his eyes turned towards the floor.
"Dean, I just- I just want you to be okay."
♥ OF GOLD.
"I could- I can stay. Dad'd be pissed, but I could camp out here for a day or two, maybe."
GO. Sam had better, too, and not just physically. Hell, he better find himself a good woman or something and move on.
"Are you sure?"
I'M SURE. He smirked wryly. BE GOOD. Like there was much chance he'd be anything else.
Sam paused, standing there was his shirt rumpled and his hair fucked out, then bent over the pile of candy, poking around. He took two in his hand, tucked away so Dean couldn't see them. One he slid into his own pocket, tucking the other into Dean's hand.
Once Sam left the room, he managed to get a look at that one. YOU & ME. Dean smiled, a melted movement that felt like tears. Yeah, that summed it up, you & me.
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